Annoyed

okay will probably close mowyourlawn cuz Im too lazy to bring everything over manually, so Underwater world it is!

I dont really know what I'm fretting about, seriously. Im pissed off for multiple reasons, one-- my boyfriend is totally insecure, two-- im so fucking impatient when it comes to insecurity issues, three-- im tired from two long days at work and lastly-- all the incessant worrying that ive been doing over every and anything that's thought-worthy.

Everyone's got so many different views regarding the scholarship, which at this point of time isn't really helping. It ANNOYS me that the moment i talk about it some ditzs would immediately come to the conclusion that Im there for this great party, to hook up with all the white boys and to go get myself dead drunk in the world's hottest party scene. I am NOT. I am there to study, and I am VERY HAPPY DOING THAT THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I dont need some sexually deprived self esteem boost and im not on the road to pleasure island either.

Once, this smart ass promptly replied "Won't you be tempted?" when I told her of the scholarship. I was so offended; I mean what?! Like just because you're in a different place and you're away from home means you can be the 'epitome' of your Other-- this debauched version of yourself taking pleasure in sins formerly unknown and unattainable to you? where is your frigging sense of dignity and identity, especially since she knows I have a boyfriend and yet assumes that i'll be suitably spoilt for choice and eagerly looking for a replacement in white haven london?

I guess this is something Im going to have to learn about public opinion. you cant really take it too seriously (especially if the people you talk to obviously dont know shit 1)about you or 2)about London) even though ive been doing that for a lifetime. I'll have to try to stop being so affected by it, throw out the trash and instead listen to people who try actually giving SOUND advice, or who are concerned enough to do that.

On the other hand, I really appreciate all of you whove been so supportive of my getting the scholarship. Thanks for all the cheers and congratulations, and for all the good advice :) especially my mum, whose been like the pillar of support all this while.

Anyway, if you don't yet know, my application for the MOE Teaching Scholarship to Goldmiths University in London has been approved :)) Now all i need to do is to get an approval from Goldsmiths, and I'll be off to uk for 4 years in August!