It's Getting Hot in Here

If you're observant enough, you'd realise before I told you that the bear's lower body is nonsexistant. If you're not, you probably wouldnt even know it was a bear.




So I got my hairdryer today, I like it and I think its pretty good but my mother think its too expensive. I didnt get it at a sale or anything and I have a bad feeling that once the GSS hits I'd suffer a loss.

Even though Ive been involving myself with stuffs these days, I keep thinking its not enough, not good enough. Typical workaholic. Ive just finished another of Murakami's, After Dark, and Im starting on George Eliot. To be truthful Ive been dreading getting my sketches done simply because Ive been such a bum and thinking about it seems like a daunting task. Plus it doesnt help that the heat is nigh unbearable.

This has been a period of solitude for me. It's not something I'm used to; I've always preferred having company and friends around me. That could be a reason why I've always been enthusiastic about school, or work, or basically being in any institution or any activity that involves engaging with other people. Nowadays, I pass my time mostly reading, if not surfing the net and heading to the stores for retail therapy (not that Im in need of any).

It's also been a time of uneasy reflection. Going to London scares the shit out of me. All this time Ive been frantically meeting up with people that I'll miss and wont be seeing for at least a year, trying to reorganize my life in a way thats best prepared for the shift there, learning basic stuff like cooking and housekeeping, and soaking in all I can about Singapore that I want to remember. I dont seem to be making use of my time here very well and that's what Im so afraid of-- that when Im there I'd regret why I didnt put in more effort in ensuring a better life 4 years down the road.

Having always surrounded myself with people for support, I find my insecurities surfacing one by one when I am slowly stripped of them, their presence and their existence in my life. Soon, even my mother and Jingboy wont be able to be here for me anymore. I know that it doesnt mean that when Im there all connection is cut, but its true to a great extent that it'll be alot harder than it is now to contact them easily.

This phase of life is a big leap forward for me. I don't think I'd be able to perfectly smooth out all the bumps ahead; in fact it might be easier on me if I just take a deep breath, sit through the rough ride and laugh off my sore ass later. A few aims I intend to work towards during my time there:

x More patience
x First Class Honours
x Go to one art related place/event a week
x Have great friends
x Not forget my old friends
x Churn out art work regularly
x Submit my art for exhibitions (if possible)
x Not eat trash everyday
x Keep fit

Ahh that made me feel better :)